Kismet by Eva Alter

“because a woman’s body

is a grave;”

- Dedication to Hunger, Louise Glück

I learned how to do it at fourteen,

that brutal undoing

of desire— a violent purification

ritual, my own;

to rid myself of my person,

temporarily yet entirely

[to rid myself of my soul’s detritus]

that porcelain door going nowhere

but down down down.

I knew I was septic.

Knew my skin had been

made into rot

   [knew I had to bear it anyway]

and decided to barter my fate

sacrificing myself to that chasm of

dreck.

Once became dozens became thousands

 each time an unwitting move

  in some cosmic chess match against

  God’s magistrate;

total expiration the loser’s reward.

Eva Alter is an emerging poet from the Southeast infatuated with the natural world, cats, Coke Zero, and sad folk music.

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